GOAL

Waking up suddenly at the jolt of the alarm today at 5:30 AM to get up for Gym, which seems to be an impossible goal these days, I suddenly felt like I am back in 2000, when I had just finished my 12th exams and was preparing for Engineering entrances. It was one of those days when I had woken up at 5:00 AM to study, this was a usual thing for me as I am a morning study kind of a person, the calmness helps me get to my studies better.

I was solving one of the Math problems, and turned to look at the window, there was a beautiful, serene view. The sky had a beautiful pattern and I got so tangled up in the beauty that in that very instant I decided to join Art school. I have always been the creative one in my house from childhood, so that made me confident that I would succeed in the field for sure!!

Now the biggest question was - How to convey this to my Father who is an engineer himself and of course wants his kids to follow his path. After few minutes of thought, I decided to write a letter to him and slip it under his pillow while he is asleep - Voila! I did exactly that. 

Dont remember what I wrote in the letter, but as you can guess it would have been pretty dramatic because after 3 hours (8 AM) when my dad read that, he started crying, not because he was emotional, but because i will now not be able to fulfill my Goal - which is according to him becoming an Engineer and earning a lot of money. 

Well, after 13 years or so, I can say I did fulfill my Goals or well His Goals. Not that I am unhappy, I am earning a lot of money.. but today every time I drive into the parking lot of my office, I wonder, was I born to be this...

Is that what my goal was!! 
What the hell is a Goal?????
Lets see.. As per the dictionary, there are numerous definitions http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/goal , the one definition that struck me, is "the terminal point in a race".Wow!! Do I not feel this everyday.

We all at some point of our lives feel that we are a part of race and just struggling to be ahead of everyone else, but have we thought what is the destination to all this.. Is it being rich, being powerful, or is the end point is DEATH???


Let me your thoughts!!

The New ME!!!!!

As I was getting ready to go out last saturday, Anya (She for sure will say "Mommy its Saanvi" :)) asked me a question-

Anya: Mommy, can I ask you a question?
Me: Yup, Go ahead.
Anya: When I grow up, will I get all your clothes and shoes, everything..
She made me burst into a big laugh, she ran away crying... "Its not funny mommy...". That made me quite, because it was truly not funny, from a 5 year old perspective. But I was not quite because she said that, but I was quite because she reminded me of myself when I was 5 years old, sitting on the bed that was in front of my Mom's vanity (called dressing table at that time), looking at my mom getting ready after a bath. Thinking of which I cannot stop myself from comparing, how simple was her getting ready ritual. Just a cream, a powder (not compact one that we use, but Talcum) and a red sindoor and a Bindi, Combing her hair into a bun, an thats it, she was ready for her daily chores. But that simple ritual used to make me wish that I were a grown up like her with long hair like her(My daughter has long hair though :)), so that I could do all that she is doing now. I would open the OLD GODREDGE ALMIRAH!! and get all her pretty sarees, which now seem very simple to me, and would wonder how I would look when I grow up and wear them.

I would play with my Mom's hair for hours and complain about my short hair. I was so desperate to grow up, and my Mom used to say, "Someday dear!! you will grow up and be like me, even better than me." That would make me even more desperate to grow up. I would dream of my prince charming and make up stories about stuck with him in a forest. (Seems so stupid now that I think of).


I can still remember, the day I was leaving for college, my Mom was so upset, that she did not even cry. I never thought that day would be the turning point of my life, as she used to say that. She said, "I pray to God that you will achieve more than what I did in life".

Thanks to her, and I think I did achieve a lot in life, not sure is it more than what she did. And now that I see my daughter, a part of me, growing up so fast, trying to be me,I feel desperate, want the time to stop, so that I can spend some more time with the little her. But, I guess the time has come, to Look at a NEW ME!! from my eyes.

Abhiman - a movie review with a different view point!

I have always admired the old movies which showed the true state of society, the true image of our lives always bringing up a new scenario. Browsing through the channels during my almost ending vacation, I came across the movie "ABHIMAN", an award winning movie starring Amitabh and Jaya Bacchhan. Had always loved the movie because of the passion and love, and ofcourse amazing acting by all the actors. In my teens whenever, I had watched this movie, I had felt emotional by watching Subeer and Uma's love for each other!

But today, I saw a totally different angle of the movie, Uma, who got a lot of fame because of her singing was abandoned by her in-secured husband Subeer, became a victim of depression and lost her unborn child.
Suddenly Subeer appears and tries to rescue her. And he takes desperate measures to save her, really appreciate that, but raised a question in my mind, when there is a problem in the marriage, why does a women has to suffer to the extent of her life to save her relationship and for the husband to even notice that yes now she has proved that she truly wants this relationship? On the other hand, the husband would lead a totally normal life with drinking as a stupid excuse to show that he is mourning too.
Why does the society expects women to suffer for everything, even when the relationship is a responsibility of both partners.
How many times does a women has to suffer to prove her loyalty to a relationship, isn't it enough that she has already left her parents, her entire life with them, to be with a man whom she knows for just some years. She would prove her loyalty further, by giving him a heir so that he can proudly boast in the society that he now has his own blood, (no one ever speaks that its actually the mother whose blood runs through the child's body, the only thing the father donates is some genes).
I consoled myself thinking that its an old movie and the society has changed now, BUT HAS IT NOW? 

The Cannes FEVER!!!!

Wow!! Did you all see the entire Bollywood Landed on Canne's Film Festival this year. Makes me wonder, what are all of them doing there. Anyways! none of my business either, but I couldn't stop noticing the way all of them looked. Lets start with the Elite group.. Aishwarya Rai who is also a Bachchan and hence called Aishwarya Rai Bachchan and you know a lot of people have started copying that double surname concept now a days.. What I could not get is how can her Stylists be so blinded.. A woman who was once the iconic "Most beautiful Women in the world" has now become a mere mimic of trying to be Glamorous. Well didn't anyone tell her that she has to loose some weights to wear such body shaping gowns, And moreover wear what suits her age and maturity too. Ok, enough of Aishwarya, Lets move on to the next new comer to the Bollywood entering Hollywood Elite group, is none other than our very own Mallika Sherawat.. atleast she has a body to flaunt those clothes, and thats the only thing probably on which she is counting, and isnt all her gown suggesting just that, "COME AND GET ME CAMERAS", But I liked her Pink trail on gown, it was very girlie and cutie!!

Lets not forget out cute, girl next door and now a hot Kidnap girl.. Minisha Lamba, what I didnt get was that why did she decided to go with that peachy pink colored Gown, she could have tried a vibrant color and could have made a mark you know..Well, maybe she was too scared because of all the Aishwarya critic that she wanted to be safe and just go unnoticed.

Well, Sonam Kapoor, our very own B-town fashionista did a full justice to her personality with her abstract white gown, I am a big fan of that look, but more than that what caught my eye is the black Polka dotted Saree with a cut out blouse.. MAN!! thats what I call a style statement. She truly proved to be an Indian and presented the sensuality of a saree which is definitely more that a Gown. I think we all forgot to applaud to that!
So from my side SONAM, Hats of to you!! YOu are truly a Fashionista who believes n her roots.
Well SONAM you truly ROCKED!!!!

The Fashion Status!

"Hey! a new bag, Calvin Klein, wow!!", said my dearest friend. I felt elated, mission successful! My new bag brought one step closer to being the hotest fashionista in the office.

How many of us actually not do that! maybe those 5% who have given up that they can ever make a fashion status at all....

I said "Bought from US where I had gone for a vacation", I felt rather proud. All this then made me ask myself "Did buying a branded bag or shoe, or copying a hollywood/bollywood trend gives me the Fashion Status that I desired." Didn't I just become one of the many young ladies who think "Label is the Fashion Status".

I had always been an ardent fan of the Fashion World, at times I feel switching my profession. I always felt that people are crticizing me for my presentability. And I should look my very best at all times. And believe me! have spent thousands of money to keep that status for all this time. And, I know I am not alone in this RACE!! There are so many of them out there who do the same...

All our lives we, the young ladies thrive hard to just look our very best so that we could be easily accepted in the so called "FASHION STATUS" and feel proud of ourselves. We badly criticize those simple kurtas, sarees and ill fitted trousers. We widen our eyes at the very sight of a bad hair cut! We condemn Aishwarya for looking so artificial in the Loreal ad, and we love Kareena's new fashion trends and secretly wish to copy her every look.

BUT, have we ever thought "What is the Fashion Status?" Moreover, what does the word "Fashion" mean??
My mom! can drape a saree so beautifully that none of her flaws is ever visible, she looks curvaceous, sophisticated, intellect and equally beautiful in a simple cotton saree. I wonder that even wearing a designer saree, spending atleast 10,000 rupees for the saree and getting a fashion designer to design for my blouse and accessories, I am not that satisfied of my look, but with simple redundant accessories she can look so perfect. Is that the much after "Fashion Status". Is it not all about designer garments, the expensive shoes!!

Fashion is about making a statement though your expression of ones physical presentation. Being a fashionista means you are a personality who has her identity and making a mark in society with the way you present yourself. A "Fashion Status" is being individualistic with ones self.

Comfort, confident, Feeling Strong are just some of the factors that relate to the way an individual dresses defining his/her personality. 
My mom feels "Gravity, conservativeness are the key to ones personality and so her attire completely reflects those ideas!!
One of my very close friend thinks life is being cool, calm and happy and her love for casuals strongly justifies that.
I on the other hand feel that variety is the essence of life!!!

I know people shall have varied opinion on my blog as well.. but I shall proudly say that I am still struggling to be the part of the much hyped "Fashion Status"!!